


Another Side of The Moon

by purple_nonbinary_turtles



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Gen, LGBTQ Themes, Other, Self-Harm, Trans Character, Transitioning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-10
Updated: 2018-03-25
Packaged: 2019-03-29 06:41:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13921515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purple_nonbinary_turtles/pseuds/purple_nonbinary_turtles
Summary: Basically follows a trans Dino and his transition





	1. Chapter 1

Seventeen was a normal boy group. Well, almost. Amongst 13 teenage boys a few of them had to be queer and raging hormones was a thing but the boys who weren’t straight didn’t tell anyone. Often, they would act straight but indulge in activities that took part to relive the sexual frustration of the boys. Group “showers” were taken quite often with groups of 5 to 6 people. A few people who decided to hide who they were was Lee Chan, the label and managers knew he was transgender and was transitioning. He felt too scared to tell anyone based on how they’ll react.  
“Hi, Dr. Xiuchoi.” Chan said, calling his therapist for his weekly session.  
“Hi, Chan. Did you tell at least one person yet?” Dr. Xiuchoi asked  
“No, I’m too scared. What if I tell someone, and they tell everyone else and they’ll be uncomfortable around me?” Chan said  
“You’ll be fine, listen if you tell someone by our next session we’ll go and get ice cream.” Dr. Xiuchoi said. “How is your transition going?”   
“It’s going good, but I have to wash and take care of my face a lot because of the testosterone. Thankfully, no one suspects anything about my voice changing because I’m around puberty age.” He said, sighing  
“Are you still binding with ace bandages?” The doctor asked  
“I don’t want to order a binder, they tear open any package at the front door, even if it isn’t theirs. I don’t want them to find out that way.” Chan said  
They talked for another hour before they ended the session.   
Chan walked out of the room. He hated himself, he could barely be alone, so he had Seongcheol as a roommate. He was sort of a father figure for him.   
He poked his head into the room, he makes sure that no one was in there, so he could change his shirt. He took his ace bandage off only when he made sure everyone was asleep and put it back on early in the morning so that no one would know.   
He walked out into the living room and went onto his laptop and opened his favourite blog. It was about gender and passing and all that fun stuff. He did it only when people weren’t paying attention or there. He was 15 at the time so GCS wasn’t an option for a very long time. After people started flooding in he could feel himself getting shaky, so he quickly ran to his room, no one really noticed except for Seongcheol. He rushed into the room with Chan without him noticing. That’s when he noticed that Chan curled up in a corner with his earbuds in and crying while hyperventilating. Seongcheol rushed to his side and took an earbud out and said,  
“Chan, look at me and follow my breaths.”   
They both breathed deeply until Chan was okay.   
“What’s going on? And what are you listening to?” He asked sitting down with him.  
Seongcheol put the earbud in his hear and hear If I were a boy by Beyoncé  
“What’s going on?” He asked again  
Tears silently feel down his face.  
“Can you tell no one this and by no one, I mean no one.” Chan said and decided to hint that he was trans  
“Steel traps.” He said  
“So, I listen to that song when I feel bad about my body. I am- ‘’ Chan started but found it hard to get the sentence out “I’m- I- I- “  
“Breathe. Take your time.” Seongcheol said  
“I’m n-no-not… I-I’m t-t-tra-tra-trans.” He said, “I totally get if you feel uncomfortable living in the same room as me because I’m not the same sex as you.”  
“Lee Chan, I love you and nothing will change that. I don’t care. Heck, I want to be there for you.” He said  
“Okay, because if I suddenly pass out take my ace bandages off for me.” He said smiling while crying   
“Is that how you bind? That’s not good or healthy. I’m going to order you a binder and some packers.” He said hugging him, “How long have you been binding?”   
“Umm, since like 5 am.” Chan replied  
“Take it off. You’re going to crush and bruise your lungs.” He said. “Let me check.”   
“No, it’ll be weird, you’re straight. Plus, I don’t want you to see my chest.” Chan whispered  
“I’m not straight and I won’t see your chest, I’ll pull it up to here.” He said pulling up his shirt just under his chest to demonstrate.  
“Okay, fine.” Chan said, reaching under his shirt and pulling off all the ace bandages. Seongcheol pulled up his shirt and saw black, purple and blue bruises.   
Seongcheol cried, “why do you do this to yourself?” when he saw the marks. He took out his phone and took a picture. “I’m going to show you how badly you fucked up your ribs.”   
That’s when Chan realized it was bad, Seongcheol never swore unless in extreme situations. He turned the picture to Chan. Chan’s reaction was blank faced he was in between shock and not caring because he would pass.   
“You’re not getting those back. We are going to order you a binder but you’re going to need to spend a few days without anything except a baggy shirt. I’m not going to let you go out and if you don’t want to leave the room during that time that’s fine but pretend to act sick for the other members. “he said getting up and pulling out all his sports bras and ace bandages. I’m hiding these and getting an ice pack for you.” He said, “Go to bed.”   
Chan did while Seongcheol got the ice pack. When he came back he hugged the younger lightly and turned off the lights.  
“Can you please turn the lights on. I need to do something before I go to bed.” Chan asked. Seongcheol did turn on the lights. Chan got up and took out a lockbox from under his bed. He put it on his lap and took out a needle with his testosterone.  
“Don’t tell me you do drugs.” Seongcheol groaned  
“No, I was supposed to take my shot of testosterone today and I nearly forgot.” He said, taking it out and injecting it into his thigh then putting everything back. Chan nodded so that Seongcheol could turn the lights off.   
“Good night.” Chan said  
“Goodnight.” Seongcheol replied before passing out.


	2. Chapter 2

Seongcheol woke up when Dino was going to try to sneak out and bind. At first Seongcheol pretended to sleep until he noticed Chan take out the ace bandages.   
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” He growled   
“Ummm, going to the bathroom.” Dino Squeaked  
“Then why are you holding ace bandages?” Seongcheol said getting up, ripping the ace bandages out of his hands. “How do you expect to do all the dances and promotions like that?” He gestured to Chan’s bruised ribs. “We need to tell the group, you can do it all at once with everyone or one by one with me if you’re comfortable with me being there.”  
“NO!” Chan yelled “IT TOOK A FUCK TON OF COURAGE TO TELL YOU! IM TERRIFIED OF TELLING OTHERS.”  
“They’ll be really supportive.” Seongcheol said, “Tell one person every 3 days.”   
“I don’t want to. You don’t know how hard it is, or how terrifying it is.” Dino said  
“You need to push through, when I came out to Jeonghan I was having a panic attack. I do know more than I let on.” Seongcheol said.  
“Okay, I’ll tell Hoshi, then in a week I’ll tell the group.” Chan said.   
“Okay, you need to stick to that. Go back to bed.” Seongcheol said, getting back into bed   
Dino did but couldn’t sleep so he just texted a few friends until Seongcheol woke up. 

Time Skip because I’m lazy

“Morning.” Chan said walking out into the kitchen.  
Jeonghan, Jihoon and Junhui where sitting at the table.   
“Yeah, he’s in his room.” Junhui said  
“Thanks.” Dino said, and only noticed then that he was wearing a baggy shirt with no ace bandage or bra. He hoped that nobody noticed that he had a chest.  
Dino walked into Hoshi’s room, he was lying on his bed on his phone. Dino climbed onto his bed and curled up into Hoshi.   
“Hi.” Hoshi said  
“I need to tell you something.” Dino said, taking deep breaths like Dr. Xiuchoi said, “Promise not to hate me?”   
“Yes, you can tell me anything” Hoshi said  
“Well, I’m not who you think I am.” Dino said, “Well physically”   
“oOH MY GOD ARE YOU 500 LIZARDS IN A SKIN SUIT?” Hoshi yelled  
“No, shhh, no.” Dino said cringing  
Once Hoshi calmed down Dino said, “I’m transgender, I have the body of a female. But I am starting to transition.”   
“Oh, thank god. That is so much better than being evil lizards.” Hoshi said, clutching his chest and panting.   
Junhui was outside the door listening. He decided to show his support and bought a transgender pride flag and then he called the managers for Dino’s measurements. Once he did that he bought him a few binders and packers. Before Dino could walk out he wandered back to the dining room. He went back to eating like he never left. 

A/N: This chapter sucked but I’ll write better ones, it just I was on a train for 3 hours and I was bored so I wrote this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please leave reviews, and I will write oneshots on some ships from different fandoms so feel free to pm me, email me or comment what you want.  
> and I will try to post every Tuesday or thursday 
> 
> okay bye 
> 
> and reviews and make me write faster


	3. Chapter 3

“Wait, you’re not going be weirded out?” Dino asked a bit confused   
“No, you’re still like one of us, a boy, but not on a physical level. How did your parents react?” Hoshi asked.   
“Um, my parents are divorced but my dad really supportive, but mom said, ‘I know you and that isn’t you.’” Dino said, starting to cry. “My mom kicked me out and I went to my dad’s place. He was supportive for a month then he kicked me out, too. They both disowned me and I somehow managed to end up here, I auditioned, and they took me in as my legal guardians and they helped me start transitioning. I am so happy to be here.”   
Soonyoung wrapped his arms around Chan and whispered, “I am so sorry that you had to go through that. You know that you can always come to me if you need to talk.”  
“Yeah, I think I am ready to tell the performance team. I want you to call the team for a ‘dance practice’ so that I can tell them.” Dino said. “But I can’t dance until Monday or Tuesday. Because of this.” He pulled up his shirt to show him the bruised ribs.  
“Oh my god, why?” Hoshi asked  
“Mainly dysphoria and wanting to pass.” Dino said.  
“We are going to take you to the hospital tomorrow.” Hoshi said  
“Will it get you to stop worrying?” the younger asked  
“Yes, because I care.” Hoshi said, getting off the bed “Let’s go, I’m hungry.”   
Dino went with him  
They sat down and ate.   
“So, Dino, where were you last night? We had so much fun, I’m kind of bummed you weren’t there.” Jeonghan said   
Dino started to feel his fingers starting to tingle  
“Umm, I was in my room.”  
“Oh, well. Next time you can come to me. You know that you’re always wanted.” Jeonghan said  
He started to feel less anxious, he could tell the people who were there.   
“Umm, well, the real reason I wasn’t there was that I have anxiety and I felt overwhelmed.” He said to Jeonghan, Hoshi, Jihoon and Junhui.  
“Hey, if you feel extremely anxious I can help. I also have anxiety and I can show you how to cope with them.” Jihoon admitted  
“Wow, thanks.” Dino said, he felt a sudden wave of anxiety. “I need to go do something.”   
He went to his room and made sure that Seongcheol wasn’t there and put on the ace bandages. Then he ran out to go to the practice room.  
He knew that he shouldn’t be in the practice room, but he could care less. He put the dance the performance team was working on and he was able to dance for 2 straight hours before Seongcheol and Soonyoung came in.   
“What, do you think you’re doing?” They both said  
“Practicing the dance.” Dino said.  
“The group is having a dance practice in 3 minutes and you need to rest.” Seongcheol said  
“Let go to this one or the other teammates will think something is wrong. Please, just this one.” Dino begged  
“Let me talk to Seongcheol.” Hoshi said, before they both stepped out for two minutes  
“Okay, just this once.” They both said  
Dino was happy, after the 3 hours mark he started to feel lightheaded and he had a hard time breathing, but he pushed through. But 20 minutes later he passed out. 

 

A/N: wHaT wILl HapPeN NeXT? Well, I guess you will have to wait 1-2 weeks. And remember I will be doing story requests (mainly for one shots and if you want a fic then PM me) I’ve decided to make this fanfic about Dino and his transition and I will be doing some fanfics in the same universe. So, look forward to that.

Until next time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyo, go follow me on my wattpad (thatboikid) I am doing requests for fluffy oneshots or angsty one shots so comment down below what you want or email me (tatabtstata@gmail.com)   
> k  
> bai


	4. Chapter 4

Dino woke up in a hospital, only Soonyoung and Seongcheol were there.   
“You lied and you binded.” Seongcheol said, angerly but with concern “We are cancelling everything until you get better mentally and physically. We said to the other members that you fell and twisted your foot, but you need to tell them, in 10 minutes, they need to know what’s going on.”   
“We are going to stay with you, but there is someone you need to talk to.” Soonyoung said, pulling Seongcheol out of the room.   
After 2 minutes Dr. Xiuchoi walked in.   
“Chan. Look at me.” He said when Chan refused to meet his gaze.  
Chan slowly and timidly looked at Dr. Xiuchoi.  
“Chan, you need to look at me. What you did almost killed you. You need to be honest to everyone.” He said, “you know that I am always here for you. You can call me 24/7.”   
Chan didn’t say anything, he only stared off out of the window and avoided his gaze.  
“Bye. I really hope you figure this out, I’ll do what I can to help.” He said  
“Bye.” Chan replied   
As the doctor left Chan sat alone in his hospital bed playing on his phone. Then Soonyoung and Seongcheol walked in.  
“I brought the group. I won’t make you tell all ten of them, but you will tell them by unit. You have ten minutes to mentally prepare yourself then I’m bringing the performance unit.” Seongcheol said then left the room with Soonyoung who hugged him before leaving.   
When Chan worked out what he was going to say, the performance unit walked in.   
“Hi, Are you ready?” Soonyoung asked   
Chan nodded.   
“So, um. I am not in the right body. I am a transgender boy. I was born in a girl’s body and I am changing that, but I am really scared to come out to people because when I told my parents they kicked me out and I auditioned for the company so that I would have a place to stay. Once I told them about my story and how I needed a place I trained, and the company helped me to transition. Now, I’m here.” Chan said, taking a breath then continuing, “I bet you probably wonder why I am in the hospital. I bind with ace bandages and I know that it bruises your ribs. So I really fucked up my ribs and Seongcheol wouldn’t let me bind again or even wear a sports bra but I put one on anyways and did the dances and my lungs couldn’t handle it so, I ended up here.”  
“Oh, god, Chan. I love you so much and I hate to see you hurting.” The8 said, hugging him lightly  
“I have something for you.” Jun said, holding out a bag.   
When Chan took it he started crying, “Thank you, but how did you know.”   
“I may have heard your conversation with Hoshi.”   
“I guess I need to tell the rest of the group.” Chan chuckled   
As the performance group left the vocal unit went in  
“Hey, guys.”   
“Okay, we both know you need to tell us something. Don’t beat around the bush.” Woozi said  
“Okay, then, I am not a cisgender boy. I was born in the body of a girl but I am not one. I am starting to take hormones to transition to the right body. I got into here because I would bind with ace bandages which would bruise your ribs and I really fucked them up but I still practiced after I put them back on and I passed out.” Chan said  
“I can relate.” Jeonghan said   
Everyone looked confused and a few gasped  
“I am not cisgender either, I am physically a male but I fluctuate between genders, and no gender. I think I am genderfluid” he explained, saying the last word in English  
“Oh, cool.” Chan said “thanks for accepting me.”   
The hip hop unit was pretty chill about it. So they all went home for the night.   
Chan was all alone so he played on his phone and went to bed.

A/n: sorry that this chapter is so short and rushed I just wanted to give a chapter and try to be consistent. Leave comments and follow my archive of our own (purple_nonbinary_turtles) and remember I am doing a smutbook soon so pm me your ideas


	5. chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/n: So yeah that happened   
> Remember please leave reviews, if we get to 3 reviews I will post a new chapter on Friday.   
> I love you all
> 
> Bye

Ch. 5  
WARNING THIS CHAPTER DOES HAVE A SELF HARM AND A PANIC ATTACK PLEASE SKIP OVER THE STARRED PARTS.  
PLEASE DO NOT TRIGGER YOURSELF  
That is all

It had been a few weeks since Dino’s rib incident and he went back home. The car ride back was nice, and he liked it.   
Once all the members got off the car Seongcheol stopped them and said, “Chan, we all want to be there for you when you put on your first binder. So, we will all be sitting here and go put it on and wear this shirt over it.” Seongcheol handed him that shirt.   
He walked into the bathroom and pulled it on. He turned so that he could see if he had any chest and when he didn’t he started crying and he pulled on that shirt. He walked out still crying.   
“Thank you, Jun.” Chan cried as everyone hugged and kissed him  
“You’re welcome. I just want to see you be happy and be yourself.” Jun said  
“OOOOOOh, Jun was sentimental with 0% sarcasm.” Seungkwan said   
Jun just rolled his eyes  
“Yup, I was waiting for that.” Jeonghan said. But everyone just laughed   
After the whole celebration, the team realized it was Seungkwan’s birthday and left to go eat.   
Dino stayed back and he took off his binder and looked in the mirror. He started to cry and then he got a terrible idea but in his mind it was the only way out.  
*  
He took out a razor from the cabinet. He smiled at the razor with sad eyes and a sad smile. He had only seen it in shows but it looked like it worked so he then took the razor and drew a small line on his wrist, he then felt a bit better. He did a few more then realized people will see if he did more. So he did at least 15 more little red lines before moving down to his thighs and then he carved words into his legs.   
It took him a second to see himself covered in cuts and blood and he started crying. He was sobbing until he heard.  
“CHAN!” Someone yelled  
Chan turned his head to see Soonyoung standing in the doorway.  
Shit, Shit, shit, shit  
He thought, then he could feel his lungs close up as well as the walls, he then fell off of the toilet seat and started hyperventilating. He couldn’t move his body.   
“SOMEONE HELP!” Soonyoung yelled “I THINK CHAN IS HAVING A PANIC ATTACK!”  
Seongcheol ran into the bathroom.   
“Shit, Chan. Okay, look at me. Breathe in… now hold for 5 second… breathe out. Keep doing that.” Seongcheol said breathing with him.   
Once Chan stopped Seongcheol said, “Okay, now we need to get you cleaned up.”   
Chan nodded.   
Seongcheol took out the rubbing alcohol and bandages. As he rubbed Chan’s arms and legs with the   
solution, Chan looked out the window with a numb look.   
*  
“Chan, why?” Soonyoung asked  
“I’ll tell you tomorrow, I’m going to go to bed.” Chan said getting up and climbing into bed.   
Seongcheol stayed with him for the rest of the night and even followed him into the bathroom to remove everything sharp.  
Shit, what have I done  
Chan thought curling up into his bed.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Hi, I am Oli and I don’t know where this will go but I’ll try, and I may do a boy x boy oneshot book, so start submitting ideas. Leave reviews so I can write better


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